So I've noticed three ways recently I've been hypocritical:
1. I condemned Victorias' Secret for using unfair labor practices while buying a matching turqoise underwear/bra set (from a different company) that cost 20 NIS. It occurred to me: If it's so cheap, they probably use unfair labor practices.
2. I always tell people to focus on the process, that it's ok to have a day where you step back, as long as overall, you're marching forward - yet got furious at myself today for having a day where I'm taking a step back.
3. I always say we should focus on our effort, not the result, bc the result is out of our hands - the one thing we can control is our own actions - yet today, got mad at myself when my effort did not produce the intended results.
To sum up: I'm having a terrible day and could really use a hug. I generally am a pretty independent person - I'm fine going to a museum or even an opera by myself, and I enjoy solitary activities, such as reading. I like people - I love my friends - but I don't need to be with people all the time. But here I am, having a bad day, with a 7-hour time difference separating me from most of the friends I usually would complain to about that, and I feel really sad - I feel like a piece of my soul needs a hug, only souls can't be hugged, because they're intangible, so I'll settle for a hug of my body - only, of course, I have no plans to see anyone today bc its supposed to be a homework day, so who is going to hug me?
Writing this makes me feel like such a neb - such, such a neb. The type of person I always vow not to become. The type of girl who actually cares about the fact that she is single, who actually does let it bother her. You know what? The truth is, it does bother me - sometimes. There are days you just want someone to come home to, someone to talk to about your day.
I hope once I live in an apartment that is in good condition, with a good friend (i.e. January, God willing) things will change and I will feel less lonely. I don't even have the strength to work right now. This is SO unlike me. Sigh. And the thing is, I'm not a fool: I know I could "solve" my loneliness, that I could find a guy for a night - but I also know that this is a fool's solution - nothing is lonelier than kissing someone only because you want to stave off loneliness.
