Most of all, I have been thinking a lot about two Israeli folk-songs: One, by Chava Alberstein, the other, an Israeli children's song shared by two friends of mine.
The Alberstein song riffs off of a Jewish Passover folk-song, about a father who buys a goat. The Alberstein version sings, "Why are you singing this song? It is not yet springtime; Passover has not yet come. What has changed for you this year? I have changed this year, that on all other nights, I had four questions. Tonight, I have another question: How much longer will the cycle of violence continue - pursuer and pursued, wounder and wounded - how much longer will this craziness persist? I have changed this year: I once was a sheep, a sweet lamb - today I am a leopard, a hunting wolf. I have already been a dove and a gazelle; today I no longer know who I am".
This song particularly resonates with me, because sometimes I feel that I too, have become the leopard. There are times where this feels empowering, and times when it feels the opposite.
Contrast this with the second song, a children's song that proclaims that no matter what happens in life, the singer remains himself. This is a beautiful ideal - that we should remain ourselves no matter what. Of course, we should grow in response to events in our lives, but not at the expense of losing our core.
As a matter of fact, I view Judaism as a journey towards the core: Avraham is commanded, "Lech lecha", literally "go to yourself", for Judaism can act as a vehicle to self-actualization, to going towards the "you" that deepest you that your truly wish to be.
So how does one balance the two, the remaining oneself while growing? Are there times when we should transform ourselves from sheep into leopards?
I don't know the answer, I do know however, that after listening to the song today, I have to ask myself: Have I remained myself this year, faced with the various challenges it has posed? Have I indeed followed Polonius's advice, in Hamlet, "This above all: to thine own self be true,/
And it must follow, as the night the day/Thou canst not then be false to any man.". I don't know the answer - I suppose that is what the ten days of repentance are about - examining ourselves and looking for an answer.
Below is the "I remain myself" song, for your enjoyment :) May we all have an upcoming year in which we are the person we truly want to be.
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