Wedding

Earlier that day, I crashed a Christian Eritrean Ethiopian wedding. (Yes the countries are at war, but, as my hosts explained to me, they love each other and are really one people.)

I was walking through "Bell Garden"* when I heard songs that reminded me vaguely of various Afro-Brazilian religious ceremonies, but I knew was different enough that it wasn't actually that. I walked a bit further, and saw a bunch of white people staring at a bunch of black people engaged in traditional Ethiopian shoulder dances, as well as traditional call-and-response songs. I was surprised, because the language did not sound like Amharit, the language of Ethiopian Jews.

So instead of watching the ceremony, I joined in by sitting down at an empty spot in the circle. I could not sing since I did not know the words, but soon I was drinking beer and exchanging friendly conversations with fellow wedding guests. We spoke about religion and Israel (they love Israel - they really appreciate that it is a democracy, and were explaining to me why they seek asylum here), and that all people are brothers and sisters, etc. There is one man who insisted he loves me like a sister and gave me his number (bc I didn't have mine on me). I am debating whether or not to call him (obviously I am only interested in him as a friend).

Pros:

1. It's the nice thing to do.
2. It would be a great way to make sure I have friends who are different from myself - I love learning from people, and it is through our differences that we learn from each other.

Cons:
1. Past experience of men supposedly seeking a platonic connection who then phone-stalk me
2. There is no 2, but 1 happened enough times to count as two reasons.
3. He asked me if I had a bf, and when I said no, said he didn't beleive me. He could have been trying to be nice, but a small part of me is sensing the typical "Is she available? Yes - now, compliment time" routine - and that makes me feel cynical, which makes me angry at myself.

Where is the line between cynicism and caution?

* The name of a poem waiting to happen, but until it does google Edgar Allen Poe's "The Bells" and maybe "The Raven" and "Anabell Lee" while you're at it.