I was thinking today of the intimacy of sharing germs with people; I caught sickness from people I love over the weekend, and it's ok, because I love them, and this sickness comes from sharing their home and being part of their family.

I once mentioned to a friend of mine that I'm non-contagious because I didn't give my then-boyfriend strep, but my (male) friend shot back with a theory that men don't get sick from kissing women with contagious diseases, because they were evolutionarily designed to "spread their seed", and then shot back with some rather graphic anecdotal evidence.

I was thinking about this as I wait for my strep-test results, as I waited for a bus overlooking Jerusalem hilltops, breathing in the crisp Jerusalem air and relishing the slight chill I felt above my elbows.

The last time I had strep was at the height of our relationship, and he was quite helpful. I thought how I was cold and lonely and alone, and I'd rather be cold and lonely and alone than be with him - and there's something empowering in that knowledge.

Two asides:

1. I have been glasses-less and phone-less for the past few days, and forced to take off from work in case I'm contagious. This keeps on reminding me of the phrase "mensch trach unt Gott lacht" or "רבות מחשבות בלב איש ועצת ה היא תקום"

2. I was stuck outside for half an hour the other day and spent the time listing the things I have to be grateful for in my journal. It was awesome - I am grateful to have such a list of things.