Obsession?

I got told today I am obsessed with "guy hitting on me" stories. I was really bothered by it. Usually, if you're very bothered by criticism, its evidence that the criticism has a grain of truth. So here is an attempt to justify my obsession, and in the process, maybe I'll have some magical moment of self-discovery, (Eugh. The very term "self-discovery" makes me want to - oof, I can't think of any threat with teeth.)

Anyhow, reasons:

1. Usually people find (or have found, in the past) these stories entertaining. I was always known as the one with the wacky creepy guy stories*, and it was considered part of my charm. Post-college, it occurs to me people are not obsessed with sex and would rather talk about other things - which means I'll need to find myself a new repetoire of party stories.
2. Yes, I do have more of these stories than the average person, because sometimes guys confuse my friendliness with more-than-friendliness. Also, I am obsessed with gender issues, and this feeds into that.
3. A friend pointed out maybe I find these stories flattering. He is absolutely right. I find these stories flattering, and even guys I've been in relationships with have found them amusing - I once scored a first date by telling a story of a bad first date. But what does it say about my level of confidence in myself at the moment that I tell these stories to flatter my ego? Thank God I am a generally confident person, but I think not having the minor-flirtation outlet known as "college nightlife" readily available has not been good for my ego. Nor does it help that I at times buy into a culture that tells me that my (relative) sexual inexperience is some sort of flaw, that it makes me undesirable - and I have plenty of guy friends who indeed do find it undesirable (admittedly, this has not prevented some of those guy friends from trying to get me into bed), and I sometimes feel just completely inadequate for not having a love life at the moment, and for not having whatever the hell type of sexual history Western society tells me I'm supposed to have at the age of 23. And in case I didn't mention it before, judging a woman - or a man - by their sexual history is objectifying - and that is exactly what our lovely modern culture does

A post-script: This has nothing to do with times I was harrassed. A woman, a family friend, tried to rape me when I was six, so if things worked like that, I'd have to be obsessed with women hitting on me - but I'm not. I do speak a lot about my sexual identity as a straight woman, but that's only because so many people seem to confuse "feminist" with "lesbian" - I'd be a heck of a lot less bothered by the way society messes up men if I didn't want to fuck them and actually have romantic relationships with them - also, men are just incredible - I love their bodies. I don't know what else to say.

Which brings me to how this episode started: A friend of mine set me up on what might have been a shidduch date with another woman, or what might have been just a "meet each other platonically" thing. While in reality I suspect its the latter, I thought it made a funny story if I gave it the former interpretation - and yes, I also thought it was slightly sexy, because I've been taught that anything involving two women is somehow "objectively" (ie according to the straight male gaze) sexy. So I told this story (obviously in a way that would not compromise the anonymity of anyone involved) and joked about how half the men in my life think I'm a lesbian and half want to get me into bed. The last time I said this line, it was a huge success - but - ironically - that's probably just because the guy I said it to was trying to get me into bed.** So I suppose my obsession has suffused this entire post.

But anyhow, I guess the bottom line is that maybe it's time for me to re-evaluate the concept that everything must be sexualized in order to be entertaining. I mean, sexualizing things does make them more entertaining, but maybe that power, like the word cunt, should be reserved for special occasions.


*I mean, I was stalked by a library security guard, and asked out by a homeless man - I have lots of these stories, because I tend to assume a guy is completely uninterested until the moment when it becomes clear I'm mistaken.
** He succeeded. It's why we're no longer talking - and you know what? It was totally worth it. I can't decide if that means the hookup was amazing or that our friendship was not - or maybe a bit of both?